Things That Really Burn My Brisket (Metaphorically Speaking Because I Don't Eat Red Meat)

For those of you that know me, you know that I live in the land of smiles and laughs. In my version of Utopia there would be an abundance of baked goods, non stop laughter, rainbows, puppies, politeness, and Peter Pan worthy happy thoughts.

But here on planet Earth 🌎 there are some things that legit drive me up a wall with no means of escape... and because Friday and Random with Rizz, I've chosen to share some of them with you #you'rewelks 😌😎 So in no particular order, here is a list of: Things That Really Burn My Brisket (metaphorically speaking because I don't eat red meat) Cows are cute!


1.) Alleged grown people that feel the need to tell other grown people how old they are. Example: I'm a grown a$$ man/woman. I'm 40 years plus blah blah blah... Things you're doing...

K so here's the thing if you feel the need to announce your age and growness you might... nope scratch that... you DEFINITELY are not acting your age, and still have some growing up to do! In the wise words of Prince: "Act yo age mama/papa not your shoe size, and maybe we could do the twirl."

The potential of doing the twirl with The Purple One should be incentive enough to display some level of maturity (may he Rest In Peace) but just in case you're weird and it isn't... here's another reason to consider. Childhood is an awesome experience! We should all attempt to bring the light heartedness of it with us to grownupville, but we should do that sans adult temper tantrums spawned from an inability to manage ones emotions.

 

2.) Loud mouth breathers and chewers. I don't want to hear you breathing through your mouth... that's why you have two nostrils. So unless you have a cold, allergies, or sinusitis... why not opt to use your nose?!? I shouldn't hear you breathing after and/or in between every chew. And also it's not necessary to smack loudly in order to enjoy your food... I promise!

3.) People that use the word MOIST to describe anything other than a succulent meal staring chicken boobies as the entree. There's no rhyme or reason other than the fact that the word makes me slightly uncomfortable.

4.) Styrofoam- The sound is just awful! When I was a kid my brother use to literally chase me, rubbing Styrofoam from new packages together vigorously like he was attempting to start a fire. When rubbed together it sounds like the tears of baby elephants. The sound is Wayyyyy worse than the sound of nails on a chalk board... this is a non debatable fact! When I hear it I have a violent physical reaction in my body. It makes me cringe... it makes me upset. Don't bring it around me if you want us to be friends!

5.) People advertising their products, party, pages, events etc. on my social media pages. Unless you are offering me something in the form of dineros or samples, don't just post up on my page without permission. It's too easy to ask! Phrases that start with "May I" are not just a courtesy, they're a necessity. Disclaimer: Reposting advertisements on my page after I delete the initial one can get you blocked... my index finger is easily stimulated 😎

6.) People that stand too close to me in line. I spend a ridiculous amount of time in the supermarket. I love food and in order to facilitate my desire for constant consumption, I take multiple trips to the supermarket throughout the week.  Whole Foods and Trader Joe's should make me a preferred customer with alllll the coupons and bonuses cuz yeah! After I spend my time perusing the store to select my ingredients, I would love to get to the checkout counter and read magazines I have no intention of purchasing without having someone invading my personal space.

The only thing worse than having to play the inch worm game with people who have no respect for boundaries is an abrupt, unscheduled meeting with their cart. Have you ever had your Achilles tendon rammed by the density of a shopping cart? Ouchhhhh!!! My point is that boundaries are important and personal space is essential! Guideline: You should always imagine there's a stanchion separating you from the person in front of you in line and NEVER EVER EVER cross it... because personal space!

Well that's it for this edition of Random with Rizz.... Until next time Love and Light! xoxo